Hey.
I havn't read more than the first 2 paragraphs... Mainly because I can't concentrate today
But as for the swearing thing... I have nothing against swearing, it streanghens laungage, but it does get to a point when too much swearing makes it sound stupid.
I for one rarely swear, mainly because I find it a very mild form of insult to someone, and seriousness is easliy made from longer, less aggressive insults than the "Your a fucking cunt bi-atch".
Anyway, I am just saying, too much swearing can ruin something, so if I were you I would use it, just less.
Although, that might just be the first two paragraphs to build tension/emotion.
I will probably read it in a week or so
